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The Number 1 Problem in Relationships - Explained

Recently I went live on Instagram to answer questions of our lovely community about relationships. During the live, I had a download and I explained about relationships in relation to Economics. People had a lot of 'AHA' moments during and after that interaction so I decided to convert it into a blog post for people who missed it or would want to refer to it again.

Disclaimer: It might get too technical, don't stress over understanding the Economic concept, just understand the analogy.

The major problems that you face in a relationship are:

  1. Not putting in enough effort after the 'Honeymoon' phase

  2. Insecurities - e.g. Fear of being cheated upon

These are only the two major problems, there are many more. But in this blog post, I am going to focus on these two problems.

💔Problem #1: Not Putting in Enough Effort

In Economics, there is a concept of Marginal Utility. If you are not a student of Economics, don't worry, just keep reading. Marginal Utility is basically two words. Utility = Satisfaction & Marginal = From 1 unit.

The more you eat something, the less satisfaction you derive from it. This is called the Law of Diminishing Marginal Value. [There are exceptions to it like any other law would have.]

Now let's compare this to relationships:

🌹Your first bite of food when you are hungry = Your first relationship

🌹Bitter chocolate you had & didn't like [Wouldn't want to try again] = Your bitter past relationship which is making you hate relationships in general.

🌹3 bar of chocolate = 3 months of a relationship & so on

Psychologically, you are bound to feel bored, dull & feeling like that spark is lost after a period of time because your consumption has resulted in a decline of satisfaction. In the case of chocolates, you would probably shift it up with something spicy or salty. But in the case of humans, we are conscious beings! Some people start switching people up thinking that it would help them. Or someone else would make them happy. Honestly, it will. In the beginning, every good relationship will give you those butterflies. But it is not going to last.

So what do you do because you definitely need to switch up to something? For example, when you are consuming chocolates and want to switch up, you want to switch from sweet to spicy. You want to experience a different flavour. The main purpose here is to change the flavour.

Thus, when you feel your relationship is getting dull, all you need to do is change the dynamics. Also, you need to put in a conscious effort along with your partner. No good relationship works out with one person putting in the effort.

How You Can Change The Dynamics?

In relationships, you would want to grow together. If you want a relationship that lasts 15 years and you guys end up marrying, you need to go out and actually use the trial and error method. Experiment.

If you'll keep doing the same things every single day, you'll end up being bored anyway! So try finding out new things you can do together!

In my course, A Guide to Relationships helps you work through this dull phase with a list of things you can do in a relationship both physical & long-distance. If you want to enrol in it you can text me on Instagram.

💔Problem #2: Insecurities

Many people carry burdens from past relationships. They keep projecting those insecurities on their present partners. Probably you were cheated upon in your last relationship and now you have trust issues. Finding those patterns can help you to tackle your insecurities.

There are two ways you can do it:

Method #1: A Guide to Relationships

In Module 2 of A Guide to Relationships course, I work with you to help you see your patterns & work through them. We also do a guided meditation that helps you to get over the previous relationships

Method #2: Life Pattern Technique

In my Past Coaching Pack, I work with you one-on-one using my signature Life Pattern Technique to identify your limiting belief and patterns that are holding you back from living your best life. You can check out the details here: Life Pattern Technique

But what if you were never in a relationship in the past and you still have troubles?

I talk about it in-depth in Module 2 of the course! To get more details, check out: A Guide to Relationships

Whenever you feel insecurities, they stem from your inner child not being healed. Your inner child or your shadow self is the neglected part of your self which I talk about in the course itself.

What you can take away from this blog post is to put in the conscious effort and try new things together. There is no one formula that is a fit for all relationships. Every relationship is unique and only you can figure out how to work it out.


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